You’ve decided there’s a stand to be made, some flag to be waved, a song to be sung on mountain tops at the top of your mortal lungs, boy. All that stuff. You huffed and you puffed and you made a calculated and arbitrary decision that a reasonable response to all you know was not satisfaction; that you would reject satisfaction even if your best friend thought you’d chucked your capacity for calm contentment with it; that you would drag your ass and dying wit and perspective around the whole world for some small surprise, an interesting death and a mirror that would show you a face you could look in the eye.

He continues to tap away at his keyboard, but because I know him I can hear him thinking ‘well…..that wouldn’t make any sense!’

All these ‘crazy’ things people don’t do because they wouldn’t ‘make sense’, i.e. they don’t fit the context of your life, ‘all you’ve worked for’ etc…. You know what doesn’t make sense? You know what doesn’t fit too well with all you’ve worked for? Death! And treating everything as controllable is the most unrealistic thing you can do. My point is not to do things at random, spin out of control…… rather, see all you do, and the consequences of what you do in light of the fact that one day there will be a Real Big Thing happen that you don’t have any control over: that’s the ultimate upshot of all you do, so don’t not do anything that you suspect you might like because you have too much to lose or it doesn’t fit ‘your plan’…..